THE Question-of-year!!! :)
Okaaaay sooo you may remember in this post HERE where Kim and I asked, THE BIG QUESTION OF THE YEAR... Can a girl tell a guy to raise his standards before they get married and STILL be submitted??? Weeeellll we got A LOT of votes and A LOT of great responses from people!!! I'll share a few with you all...
.
Sis McElhaney- said...
Great question! It's actually something Les and I talked about BEFORE we were married. We decided that when it came to convictions, not just standards of a particular church, whoever had the strongest conviction is what we would abide by. And that has worked for the past 20+ years. Let me say this to anyone who is single. When you are praying for your future spouse, pray for their pastor as well. I prayed very specifically, "Lord, he has to be from a good church." They say you don't just marry the guy, you marry his family. I add, you also marry his church family.
♥
Sis. Allana said...
What I always pray (So...yes I am thinking and praying about it! ;D)...but what I always pray is that God will bring me someone with the same standards. OR Really, I just say "God, you know what my standards and MY personal convictions are. These are things that I feel that YOU have asked of me, so...work it out for me." I really don't think that he would want me to back on something he established in the first place. Again, it is not about who is better then who...it's just something personal between you and God. I would just really pray about it.
♥
Sis. Jayne said...
I agree with Kim, "Yes! Absolutely!".... I dont think there is any thing wrong with conversing about standards with someone you potentially wish to date. That is something worth talking about at the beginning of a relationship so that at least you know what you are going into... I would hope that you dont wait to the point of almost marriage to enter into this discussion. Personally I think the majority of girls look at this differently then guys do.... us girls tend to go towards guys that hold a higher standard then we do, because they are to be a spiritual leader. I would not what to support my husband; I would want him to support me.... same difference"
♥
There were a few other comments but OBVIOUSLEY i'm not gonna post them all...there was a few people I talked to personally or girls that emailed me giving their oppinon, but wanting keep it private...buuuut the OVERall oppinions were great!!! I thought that these woman had some great and very wise things to say concerning this topic!!! I really like WHAT Jayne said here..."us girls tend to go towards guys that hold a higher standard then we do, because they are to be a spiritual leader. I would not want to support my husband; I would want him to support me....
same difference"
.
I think that for girls things ARE different than with guys, because of the God-given roles of a male and a female. I like how the McElhaney's have done things with them both continually choosing to go with the higher standard of conviction that one or the other has. Cuz I know that when something is preached to me even if I don't really have a conviction about it, if I pray and ask God to NOT just let me be obedient to my pastor, but to also to GIVE ME A PERSONAL CONVICTION!!! AND he always does!!!
.
However, it ultimately has to do with a man's heart towards the things of God. Like WHAT man, that has a heart right with God wouldn't want his wife to live by her God-given convictions...like if she has a conviction about Christmas trees and her husband is like, ABSOLUTELY NOT, I'm putting my foot down and WE WILL have a Christmas tree...okaaaaaay thats JUST WEIRD!!! AHAHAHA!!! But still a Christmas tree is only once a year...it wouldn't really effect your everyday life...buuut there are other things...that are in your everyday life...I just couldn't everrr compromise on sleeve length or any standards of holiness...or EVEN the Christmas tree...LOL! I JUST COULDN'T DO IT!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
.
weeelll I think the ULTIMATE thing that everyone was decide was...it JUST DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION and that we should ALWAYS be PRAYING about it!!! PRAY! PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!!! Because ultimately, I don't believe that it would be proper for a girl to tell a guy to raise his standards, BECAUSE of God's roles for men and woman...sooo while it is ok for a guy to tell a girl, probabley, more than likely, and I'm sure there are exceptions etc...but on a whole i don't think it would work because of SUBMISSION!!! Soooo you know what that REALLLLY means???
.
IT MEANS THAT...The MEN...have waaaaaaay more options for findin a spouse than us ladies!!! AHAHAHAHA!!! This is sooooo the truth!!! LOL! Buuuut don't feel down, God's gonna work it all out!!! :) The thing that I remember Sis. Ikerd telling us girls...Btw- if you don't know who she is, Sis. Ikerd was a missionary's wife to Africa for 28 years...AMAZING WOMAN OF GOD!!!
.
SOOOOO...We were all just sittin around floor chattin and Sis. Ikerd was in a chair above us and she starts talkin to us...she said...Girls, the MOST important decision you'll ever make is WHO YOU MARRY! It will effect your WHOLE life!!! It will effect your ministry and your calling in life. She said that she almost felt it was a bigger decision for a woman than it was for a man...BECAUSE of the God-given roles between a male and a female. She said because WOMAN have to submit so therefore she should be VERY careful who she marries...because as a Godly woman he will be the one that leads her throughout her life.
.
Also, she said that because the woman was made to be a man's helpmeet, her role in life as Godly wife is be her husband's helper. So whatever she feels in life, that her calling is, after she gets married, her calling in life is WHATEVER her husband's calling is! Therefore, if a single woman feels called to do missions work overseas or in another country and after she gets married, if her husband doesn't share that same calling with her, then that is NO LONGER her calling.
.
Not to say that a woman can't have a calling, just that her husband's calling comes first over hers...LOL Like if she feels called to be involved in the youth ministry and her husband is the Sunday School director, she can still help with the youth, BUUUUT her first calling is to be the Sunday School Director's wife and to help him with THAT!!!
.
Soooo anyways, I just think that when you think about it like that, it would be really, hard to be submissive and be a helpmeet to someone that had totally different beliefs and convictions...and stuff...UNLESS...you felt like it was YOUR CALLING in life..TO HELP HIM GET CONVICTIONS!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
.
Go to the link below to view the poll results....I think the overall vote was PRAY!!! PRAY FOR YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE!!! A new question will be posted up SOOON! :)
Can a girl tell a guy to raise his standards for marriage???
♥Mary Frances :)
