Saturday, May 30, 2020

A big bride!!!

Generally speaking, when we hear that a woman is engaged, we NEVERRR say to that bride-to-be, weeeeeeelllll I hope you get BIGGER before your wedding day! You NEVERRRR hear a bride saying, I WONDER just HOW LARGE I can get before I get married. It doesn't matter WHO she is, a woman is ALWAYS working on looking her trimmest and best before her wedding day! YET, I heard someone just the OTHER day say, "We want the bride to get larger!"
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Your probabley thinking, what in the WORLD??? Who would say THAT??? And juuuuuuuuuust WHO'S bride is this??? I'll tell you who's bride this is, Its GOD'S BRIDE!!! This past Sunday our pastor preached about witnessing and reaching the lost. After altar call, one of the men ended the service and he got up and said to the church, "we want the Bride of Christ to get larger!" When he said that I just couldn't help but LAUGH!!! Of course I was THE ONLY one that quite saw the humor in this, BUUUUUUUUT its just soooooooo FUNNY TO ME!!!
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 Jesus is coming back for a BIG BRIDE!!!! And NOT only is she just a BIG BRIDE, He wants his bride to get BIGGERRRRRRR!!!! He wants to her to get LARGERRRRR!!! Dare I even say, He wants her to get FLUFFIER!!!  BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Jesus doesn't want a skinny bride!!! I'm just like WOW... Totally an in AW moment for me!!! Liiiiiiiike Heeeeeey Jesus...i'm RIGHT HERE...MAR BEAR...I'll be your fluffy bride!!! Come and get me I''m READY FOR YOU MY BELOVED GROOM!!! hee, hee
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Oh man, that's what's soooooooo AWESOME about Jesus, he doesn't think like us humans...He thinks like GOD, because HE IS GOD! And if God wants a big bride, Lets see just HOW MUCH BIGGERRRR we can get the Bride-Of-Christ to be for her groom!!! How big can we get her??? Lets challenge ourselves to help His bride get larger!!!
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Annnnnnnd just in case your wondering, that's NOT by eating an extra Big Mac tonight, or buying that donut and Starbucks in the morning, in fact getting the bride BIGGER may have to come through us skipping a few meals in fasting, adding in some extra prayer, excercising by our streets to knock doors and doing whatever it takes to add souls to the church!!! It comes by reaching the lost!!!
Help His bride get bigger,
 INVITE SOMEONE TO CHURCH!!!
"... Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest." (John 4:35)
♥Mary Frances :)

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Mary's Random History Lesson

Sit back my lil children, MARY, is about to teach:
THE HISTORY OF MAYONAISE!!!
 
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise (Now more commonly known a Best Foods) was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York . This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is, of course, known as...
Sinko de Mayo
Best Foods Gluten Free, Kosher Condiment Mayonnaise 30 oz ...
AKA: CINCO DE MAYO!!!
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm like, literally soooooo FUNNY!!! If NO ONE else laughs, it's ok, BECAUSE I DID!!! Cracks me up EVERAY YEAR!!! Hope Everyone has a good Cinco de Mayo!!!
♥Mary Frances :)
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P.S. BEST TEACHER EVERRRR-we also now know WHY I'm not a teacher...apparently, Adventure's In Odyssey's Imagination Station, isn't considered a "proper" way to be edu-a-MA-kay-a-tid!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! 

Monday, May 4, 2020

Happy Monday!!!

10 More COVID-19 Memes to Continue to Make You Smile | Pittsburgh ...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!!!!
♥Mary Frances :)

Saturday, May 2, 2020

Happy Saturday!!!!

13 Coronavirus memes to entertain you while you're in isolation ...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Remember those word problems in school you'd get like, Jenny had 100 gallon jars of mayo and Stephanie used 5 and a half and Robin added 1/4 of a jar, how many gallons does Jenny have left??? And you'd be sitting there like SERIOUSLEY??? and your teacher would be like, ONE DAY, your going to need this!!! And your just sitting there liiiiiike, at least use something like PEANUT BUTTER!!! WHY SO MUCH MAYO???? Or if your gonna say may how about we try to find out how many sandwiches Jenny made with it???
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Well, we are currently living in STORY PROBLEM TIMES!!! Mary could NOT buy any flour or baking soda cuz the dude from the story problem GOT IT ALL, how many loaves of bread is the story problem dude gonna make??? Also, how much weight will the story problem dude gain from all the bread he is eating???
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And all you teachers can just say, YEEEEEEEEEESSSS, I'm finally right!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA!!!
♥Mary Frances :)

Friday, May 1, 2020

A Bible Question!!!!

Sooooooooo I was thinking about this other day, liiiiiike WHILE listening to the Bible, THE MOST RANDOM MARY THOUGHT EVERRRRR went through my mind...
BIBLICALLY SPEAKING:
Did older woman ever
 go for YOUNGER MEN?!?!?!
 NO REALLY YOU GUYS, DID THEY??? I mean think about it, the Bible is rather clear that Boaz and other men were quite a bit older than their wives, buuuuuuut are there any cases where a younger man marries an older woman???
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NOW I've had some debate about this, liiiike, NO that probably NEVERRRR happened because CULTURALLY speaking, woman NEVER "Went for men" back then!!! BUuuuuut after thinking about it, I beg to differ, RUTH...She SOOOO WENT FOR BOAZ!!! Also, she may have STILL been beautiful at 200, I mean, wasn't that king checking out Sarah when she was in her 90's??? 
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ANNNNNNNNNNND FURTHER MORE, if there was, WHAT WAS THE AGE DIFFERENCE??? I mean, THINK ABOUT IT, people were living to be like, 700 years old back in the day!!! Was there EVERRRRR a case of a woman marrying a man 100 years YOUNGER than herself?!?! Duuuuuuuuuude...that would be sooooooooooooo COOOOOOL if there was!!! You know like, she was 200 and he was 100???  THAT WOULD BE SOOOOOO AWESOME!!! 
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Like seriously, I wanna meet that chick when I get to heaven!!!! My mom's probably telling her right now, with her NYC accent, MY DAUGHTER SOOOO NEEDS TO MEET YOU!!! BAHAHAHA!!!
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Soooo for now I sit here and ponder this thought along with the many other important questions that no one seems to have a true answer for me, liiiiiike, WAS JESUS GOOD LOOKING? (I believe he was! I don't think he was of the appearance that drew attention, buuuuuuut I bet he has the most amazing honey brown eyes that I would've just melted when I looked into them, with long manly lashes and the kindest smile! Oh and before you give me Isaiah 53, that's prophesying about calvary...Jus sayin ;) IS IT WEIRD FOR A MAN TO THINK OF HIMSELF AS, "THE BRIDE OF CHRIST???" (I asked Bishop Abbott this once, YES, I ACTUALLY DID ASK, and he said YES!!! bUUUUUT THEN he went on to explain that it's not really us individually buuuuuuut the church of God as a whole!) HOW LONG DID ADAM LIVE BEFORE GOD CREATED EVE??? (It had to be LONG enough for him to realize that he was THE ONLY creature without an helpmeet) When exactly did it become WEIRD to marry a sibling??? (THANK GOD IT DID THO!!!) Were the fish raw or cooked that Jesus fed to the multitude? Why do boiled eggs smell, BUT NOT SCRAMBLED EGGS??? What exactly IS, "THE WHEEL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WHEEL???" Who potty trained Adam??? Annnnd on and On and on my list goes, I'm gonna have A LOT of asking when I get to heaven...A LOT!!! BAHAHAAHAAAA!!!

♥Mary Frances :)