Weeeeeeeelllllll I thought I would share with you all my NEWEST outreach technique...NOW this is an ECLUSIVE Mary technique that TOTALLY works...BUT I'm tellin you, you ain't gonna hear it in no evangelism class...
K!!! So my mom calls me like RIGHT before we were leavin for church and said that Esther had left a message on Facebook to tell Mary she wants to come to church tonight. Soooo i'm like okaaaay WHY didn't she call me??? So I call her grandma's cell phone and get a DISCONNECT recordin...I'm like OH thats WHY...somone didn't pay their bill!!! HAHAHA!!!
Sooooo I tell my mom and my sis I can't get in touch with her but lets just go over there and see what's going on...I mean by the time we get there she may be GONE...or who knows...she may be READY and WAITIN for me!!!
Soooo we get there and I go marchin into the apartment like ESTHER!!! I hear a groan from the floor and there she is sleepin with like a blanket all wrapped around her...I'm like WAKE UP!!! COME ON...get UP...LETS GO!!! SHe is like OH what are you doing? I'm like YOU left a message that you wanted to go to church and i'm HERE...lets GO!!! SHe is like oh i'm not gonna go now...i'm like okaaaaaaay I'm already gonna be late to church now cuz we came here...sooooo if i'm gonna be late I had BETTER at least have a good excuse!!!
She is like, No Mary, I'm tired now...i'm like SO!!! SHe is like I don't feel good!!! I'm like SO come to church and get prayed for!!! SHe is like, Oh Mary NO!!! AND I was gonna give up and just go but I was like you know what...NOOOOO!!! SHe is coming!!!
I'm like IF you don't get up i'm gonna sit on you!!! SHe is like OH NO MARY!!! I'm like then get up!!! ANd she is like just wrappin herself tighter in the blanket!!!! I'm like okaaaaaay i'm coming down...and I totally just sat on her...it was soooo AWESOME and she was laughing HYSTERICALLY!!! She is now wide awake...I'm like are you coming?! SHe is like okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay MARY!!! So I get up and she is like NOT gettin up and I'm like OKAAAAY I'm gonna sit on you again!!! She is like NOOOOOOO and totally jumps up!!! I'm like THATS RIGHT girrrrrrl!!!
Soooo on the way home from church i'm like so I wasn't really THAT heavy, was I? She is like, NO!!! YOU HEAVY!!! I'm like you know what, your just lucky I don't way 408 more!!! Ahahaha!!!! Weeeelll there you have it folks...my newest outreach technique...if they say they won't come JUST SIT ON THEM!!! cRaZy, cRaZy...BUT it worked!!! LOL!
Actually, I would do ANYTHING God told me to do...no matter how cRaZy it was if I knew it would get her back in church...I love her sooooooo much!!! Don't stop prayin for her you guys!!! Add her to your prayer list!!!! I told her that I tell EVERYONE about her and I got people EVERYWHERE praying for!!! Sooooo puleeeeeeeze PRAY FOR HER!!!