Sunday, November 25, 2012

Single AS a...

Are you single??? Like sooooooooo SINGLE??? Just HOW single are you??? Did you hear about that ONE guy??? He is sooooooooo SINGLE the cell phone company won't even let him get an individual plan!!! Oh and that ONE GIRL...she is soooooo SINGLE even her shoes don't have pairs!!! Annnnnnd then there is that ONE DUDE...the one that likes to eat, he is sooooooooo SINGLE he went to McDonalds to eat and they REFUSED to sell him a McDouble!!! So then that SAME dude went to In N Out and ordered a double-double and they sent him empty-handed right back to McDonalds!!! Then there is ME!!!  I'm soooooo SINGLE when I was learning how to drive a cop pulled me over for going over the DOUBLE line!!! LOLOLOL! I'm soooo SINGLE Kraft just called me the other day and asked me if I would be the mascot for their SINGLE cheese slices!!!
I get this phone call one day, this man is telling me that I made it to the next level for some kind of $30,000 giveaway they were doing at the mall a couple of weeks earlier. I had not been into entering, but one of my friends had insisted I enter. So this man is like you've made it to the next level and blah, blah, blah, can I just verify a few things? He goes over my name, address, etc… Then he says, "Now would you say that your yearly income is over or pretty close to 40,000?"
 I'm all like, Uh, WAAAAAAAY UNDER!!! And he is like, "Oh is there anyway you could combine your income with anyone else?" I'm like, uh NO!!! He is like ANYONE IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?!" I know there is NO way my sister will...AND Kim who was living with me at the time, Kim's 3-hour-a-day job combined with mine STILL wouldn't make it...BAHAHA!!! So I'm just like noooooo....he is like ANYONE?!?! I'm like UH sir, I'm single!!! Like... Sooooo SINGLE!!! Single as a dolla bill!!!" And the man just busts up laughing!!! He is like, "I've NEVER heard that one before!!!"
Then he asked a few more questions and then he is like ending his call and he is all "Well thank you Mary for making me laugh today!" I was like, YOUR WELCOME!!! And I felt GOOOOOOOD!!! I USED my singleness to make someone laugh!!! Now thats WHAT i'm talkin about...
How about YOU??? Just HOW single are you???
(IF you are GOOD...Cuz its SINGLES week on Classic Mary Moments...sooooo stay TUNED and send ALL your single friends this way!!! Read the Previous SINGLES posts HERE!!!)
♥Mary Frances :)