Friday, June 15, 2012

Just call me GRANDMA!!!

Guess WHAAAAAAT everyone???
Fo REALZ!!! I know, cRaZy right?! K!!!! Sooooo this is the story...
Once upon a time, I had a beautiful lil Liberian girl from a troubled home come live with me!!! We LOVED each other with all our hearts... She was ten and I was 24 when this all happened...ANNNND had it been up to us, we would have lived together FOREVERRR!!! Buuuuut things didn't go the way we wanted and we got seperated and pulled apart from each other...BUUUUUT we neverRRR everrrr stopped loving each other...NEVERRR!!! And you can read more about THAT here!!!
As I'm sure almost EVERYONE that knows me or has read my blog, has at one time or another heard me talk about my ESTHER!!! So my lil girl, she hasn't been living for God but I still love her and God has given me an EXTREME burden for her...and weeeeelll she knows that...LOL...cuz I NEVERRR let her forget it!!!
Anyhow, she came to live with for a lil while the end of last year. ANNNND we thought that things were going to be the way they used to be...but due to choices and circumstances things were NOT the same... and in the end Esther, let me know that she had just found out she was pregnant...
she was scarced...she thought I wouldn't want to be around her anymore...buuut like DUH...of course I'm NOT like that and HONESTLY I wasn't like shocked by it!!! I already knew the way things were in her life!!!
She was being told by ALL different people that ABORTION was the answer...weeeeellll of course she wasn't going to get very far with that route with me and plus she knew in her heart that she couldn't do that. She said she knew she was a sinner, commiting sin and still doing sin...BUUUUT that was one sin she just couldn't commit! Sooooo she asked me to adopt her baby!
 She said that...No matter what, it wasn't the babies fault. BUT she said she also didn't want to keep the baby, because there is NO way she could take care of it or be a good mom BUT she didn't want her family to get the baby, cuz none of them would treat it right, cuz they would raise the baby like she had been raised.
BUT the ONLY person that she would want to raise her baby was me. So even though she wasn't going to keep the baby she was VERY particular about who was going to raise it. She said she wanted her baby to have the kind of home that she had when she was with me and she knew that because I loved her I would always let her be a part of the babies life AND also because I was the only white person she knew that wouldn't mind havin black baby. She's like, people SAY that they don't care, BUT THEY DO! I was like WEEEEEElLLL you know that don't bother me...You know i've ALWAYS wanted....she's like DUH MARY! I KNOW!!!! (LOL!)
Of course I was like ESTATIC, cuz I mean SERIOUSLEY...I have ALWAYS wanted a CHOCOLATE BABY!!! When I was four years old, my sister got a real baby doll for Christmas and I wanted one soooo bad...buuuuut I wanted a BLACK ONE!!! And I begged my mom for 6 months for a BLACK REAL BABY DOLL annnnnd i'll NEVERRRR forget, on my 5th birthday, JULY 18th, 1988...I opened up my present and there she was...MY BLACK BABY DOLL!!! JESSICA...She was my favorite doll ever ANNNND I still have her!!! :) Soooo yeah...I was like OMW, I'm really gonna get a REAL BLACK BABY!!!
Sooooo people were like telling me ok, you gotta look into gotta get adoption certified, etc...etc...but Idk...I just wasn't 100% sure that this was what GOD wanted. Maybe God wanted this baby with another Apostolic family...with a mom and a dad...was I REALLY the best thing and would this in some way come between me and Esther? So I asked her if she was STILL sure that she wanted ME to adopt the baby...what if there was another Apostolic family that would raise her baby in a good home and she was just all, LIKE WHO?! A black family or a white family? So I was like weeeellll I mean I don't know for sure...I don't even know any people for sure that are lookin to adopt but I can find out...I can ask around...
She was like i'm tellin you Mary, if they're NOT black they are NOT going to want my baby!!! THey will be like, Oh it should be with black people cuz it will be confused and all this stuff  and they will have all these excuses, but its really cuz they JUST don't want a black baby, She was adamant your the ONLY one I will give my baby too, because your the ONLY one I know FOR SURE, that would truley love it! (Awwww)
Buuuuuut still I knew I wasn't going to adopt this baby...NOT that I didn't want it, I just knew deep down inside that it wasn't God's will...Ultimatley, I LOVE ESTHER!!! Even when I would hear people say, Oh that poor baby, that poor child, you gotta adopt him, she can't raise him, he has to be taken away from her...Idk...I just felt like...SOMEONE still has to care about Esther. She is still a broken, hurting, lost little girl... God brought us to each other and there is NOTHING that will ever change that love I have for her in my heart and I knew if I adopted her baby I would have to choose her baby over her...PLUS...more than anything else, I believe in her!!!
I know when people see her, they just see this ghetto chick with some MAGOR attitude....buuuuut oh man I just love her sooooo much and I can see her heart...I know that deep down inside she really does love God... I KNOW that...So I just let her talk about whatever...buuuut then she like heard her babies heartbeat and she found out she was having a boy and OH MAN I could tell something in her was changing towards this baby...
Meanwhile, she was gettin all this trash from the other African people, she is a whore cuz she is pregnant at 14 and blah, blah, blah and i'm like LOOK, i'm not sayin you are or aren't, thats between YOU AND GOD...buuuut...being pregos doesn't make you that. Being pregnant is NOT a sin...its WHAT you did that got you pregnant that is a sin...and I'm NOT condoning what you did or the way you have been living...its WRONG and it is SIN...buuuuuuut all the rest of the African people that are talkin about you are doing the same thing! They're all fornicating and living in adultrey and getting pregnant and they think its ok cuz they're adults...weeeeellll SORRRRRY BUUUUUT sin is SIN!!!
Sooooo when I could tell Esther was starting to change about her baby I was like, LOOK, if you want to keep him its ok! I'm fine with that. I'm NOT out lookin to be a single mom...I've just ALWAYS told God that I am AVAILABLE if thats what he chooses...I'm WILLING...buuuuut honestly I would prefer to be married before children. (I REALLY DO WANT A CHOCOLATE BABY THO!!!:)
And I told Esther, I KNOW you can be a good mom...You can...and if you want i'll teach you EVERYTHING I know about being a mom...NOT that i'm sayin i'm an expert of nutin...LOL...but i'll help you be a good mom...teach you about the CORRECT way of disciplinin teachin your baby about God...etc... so finally she decided...I'm gonna keep him!!! AND I honestly felt sooooo happy for her. I told her that NO MATTER what anyone says, a baby is gift from GOd. The Bible says that children are a treasure...and I told her that this baby was NOT a punishment from God...but a BLESSING!!! I really believe that...God is the giver of life...he chose to allow this baby to be formed...He wasn't an accident on God's part...GOD MADE HIM!!!
So Esther wanted me to help her pick out a good name for him...she was like...I want him to have a BLACK NAME...not an AFRICAN name...buuuut a BLACK AMERICAN MAN's name!!! HAHA!!! I'm like okaaaaaay sounds good to me. ANNNND I found ALL these awesomely black man names for her...Trevonte, Tyrone, DeShawn, DeAndre, Xavier, Jamal...ETC...buuuuuuuuuut she couldn't decide on any of these names FOR SURE...and this WHOLE time she just couldn't decide WHAAAAAT she was going to to name him...
I mean she went into false labor Wednesday night and we brought her in, and EVEN THEN she didn't know WHAT she was going to name him...WEEEEEELLLL...Friday morning, June 8th at 4am... Esther had a c-section and at 4 am...
 Phletcher Lamar La Neil Wilson entered into the world!!!
AHAHAHA!!! Isn't that like THE AWESOMEST little black man name EVERRRRR?!?! Soooo DRAMATIC...I LOOOOOVE IT!!! 6 pounds, 1 ounce and 19 inches long and Esther adores him!!! ANNNNND of course SO DO I!!! BECAUSE this now means ONE THING...I am NOW OFFICIALLY A...
 WOOT! WOOT!!! Thats right...ya all can just start callin me Grams!!! Esther's whole family is like, MARY! You have a grandson now!!! His actual grandma, who is MY AGE, was like I AM NOT to be called grandma, YOU CAN be called his Grandma Mary!!! I'm like sounds good to me!!! Esther's grandma was just like, "Mary, you have a grandson now!" (I wish you all could hear me say this with my African accent! LOL)
This  pic below is when Esther said that her WHITE mom is mental, cRaZy, weird and NEEDS HELP!!! (I won't say her EXACT words cuz they may be offensive to some people...LOL!)
 I'm just like SWEEEET!!!! And I have beeeeen kinda going to see my lil grandbaby NON-stop since  his birth...OMW YOU GUYS...he is soooooooooo ADORABLE!!!
 Esther was just sittin there lookin at him and shakin her head...she is like...I do NOT know where you got all this hair from didn't get it from musta got it from Mary!!!! (Weeeell he's gotta get something from his grams!) Awwwww HE HAS MY HAIR!!!
I told Esther one time...I am SOOOOO PROUD OF YOU!!! She is like, WHY? FOR WHAT?! I'm 15-years-old and pregnant, whats there to be proud of?!?! I'm like, because, you may have made a MILLION bad decisions for yourself in the past, and even in the future, BUUUUUUT choosing LIFE for your baby...
WHEN EVERYONE was pressuring you into having abortion, YOU CHOSE LIFE and that is ONE CHOICE that was THE RIGHT CHOICE and for that I am proud of you!!!
Soooooooo this is the beginning of my life in Grandmahood...
I will have MY OWN Chocolate baby...
for now I am content being chocolate baby's GRANDMA!!!
Woot! Woot!!! ;) 
♥Mary Frances :)