Monday, July 30, 2012

Single and I KNOW IT!!! ;)

The question of EVERY, single person, at one time or another in life;
HOW WILL YOU KNOW THEY ARE...
THE ONE???
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I know, I know, I'm 29 years old, SINGLE WITHOUT a prospect insight...YES I KNOW!!! :) And yeah, MAYBE, I don't know everything there is to know about finding THE RIGHT ONE...buuuut I have learned a few things that have KEPT ME from marrying, THE WRONG ONE!!! I've dedicated THIS week to apostolic single young people or even the NOT-SO-YOUNG ones!!! (Can I get an AMEN???) Soooo i'm NOT gonna be one of those single chicks that is writing a book on FINDING THE ONE...cuz yeaah...
I don't really know how to get myself married...
buuuuut...
I do KNOW how to be SINGLE!!!
I'm quite good at it ACTUALLY!!! :)
See its EASY...you JUST DON'T GET MARRIED!!! HAHAHA!!! Okaaaaaaaay soooo am I like the ONLY one laughin right now???
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THE TRUTH IS THAT...I have felt for sometime now, God pushing me to talk/write to singles. ANNNND everyone always says that, WHEN I GET MARRIED...I'm going to have such an awesome testimony to share and encourage people with...and YES I TOTALLY AGREE...buuuut...I just wanna say that...I GOT ME A TESTIMONY RIGHT NOW!!! What if I don't get married for another TEN YEARS??? Yeah, I said it...HAHA!!! But for realz, I ain't gonna wait till I got me a HUSBAND to be an encouragment to my peers and to give GOD THE GLORY!!!  
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Soooo yeah... I have A LOT to say on this subject and I figure that if I put it ALL in ONE post...you all would get bored outta your mind and stop reading it. Soooo I'm gonna do a whole week on it and I hope those of you out there that are single will take the time to read this...cuz heeeey I feel ya and I hope I can in some way, somehow, in my fellow singleness, inspire and be a help to you all.
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Then at the end of the week, when its all done...I'll tell you all HOW I think you will know they are the one...and YEAH...I know i'm NOT an expert..buuut... the word of God is STILL the word of God EVEN if i'm SINGLE...RIGHT??? Oh HEY...heeeey...HEEEEY NOW!!! ;)
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My first word of advice is...
 DON'T GET DESPERATE!!!
Don't think that just because ALL your friends around you are getting married, that you HAVE TO GET MARRIED!!! There was a time in my life when, in my late teens, early 20's, that pretty much ALL the friends I had grown up with, got married or were getting into relationships. I didn't know what to do with myself...I got frantic!!! I didn't have many friends besides the people in my church...AND...I got a pretty small church. WHAT would I do without them???? Who would I hang out with at conferences??? I was going to be LEFT BEHIND!!!! I couldn't bear the thought of it...soooo you know what I did???
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I GOT DESPERATE!!! I found a really good Apostolic guy, that was probabley equally as desperate to get married as me. We TOTALLY were NOT each other's type AT ALL!!! I have this list of things that I want in a husband...and within the first conversation I found out that he pretty much didn't have ANY of them...except he paid his tithes...woot, woot!!! LOL!
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The truth is I got off the phone with him for the first time and thought, OMW he is soooo BOOOORING!!! (I even told one of my closest friends that...who REMINDED me of my original thoughts when I was left with a broken heart!!!) NOT that he was a bad guy...WE WERE JUST WAAAAAY DIFFERENT...we had different aspirations and dreams in life...it was just obvious from the beginning that he wasn't the one for me!!! ANNNND I'm pretty sure my cRaZiNeSs drove him absolutelty CRAZY...ahahAha...ANNNND I may be a lil surprising and out there sometimes, BUT WE ALL know I'm a really good girl too....RIGHT?!?! LOL
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I mean lets face it...I'm pretty eccentric...but I am who I am... and while I may or may NOT marry someone thats equally as cRaZy as me, (Still holding out for you WOoten!!!;) I need to marry someone that ENJOYS my cRaZiNesS...cuz thats the way God made me...BUUUUT you know what I did??? I ignored ALL the signs and all THAT because I was DESPERATE!!! He was a GOOOOOD guy, I was a GOOOOD GIRL and I haaaaaaad to get married... ALL MY FRIENDS WERE GETTING MARRIED!!! I COULD NOT, NOT MAKE THIS WORK!!! IT HAD TO WORK!!!
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Soooo I kept talking to him, got emotionally ATTACHED, cuz thats what girls do and once you get emotionally attached everything else becomes blinded and me and this guy, we "fell in love" and soon began to make plans for marriage and THEN the NEXT thing I know, IT WAS ALL OVER!!! I'm HEART BROKEN and dropping a wedding dress off at Savers!!! AHAHAHA!!! (Its really funny...NOW!!! LOLOLOL) Seriousley tho, at the time I WAS DEVESTATED!!! I cried myself to sleep every night for almost a year straight...You know who's fault that was??? MINE!!! NOT THE GUYS...buuuut MINE!!! MY OWN STINKING FAULT!!!
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BECAUSE...All that could have been avoided, IF, after the first several phone conversations, I had said to myself, NOPE, he doesn't have what your looking for...DROP IT...buuuuuut NOOOOO! I got DESPERATE!!! I HAD TO GET MARRIED...because...ALL MY FRIENDS WERE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!! After all that, you know what I discovered...IF ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE GETTING MARRIED...and you don't know who to hang out with anymore...
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MAKE NEW FRIENDS!!! Ooooo now theres a thought!!! HAHA!!!I know its gonna seem SHOCKING for you all to believe this...buuuut yeah...I didn't really know how to be friendly and outgoing!!! (GASP!) My pastor's daughter, Devi Abbott had ALWAYS been the one that met the new people!
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Cuz she was a pastor's kid everyone knew her and EVERYONE LOOOOOOVED her!!! Sooo at conferences I just hung out with her... and yeah...it was easy!!! Buuuuut after she got married and I got over my desperate stage in life...I began paving my own social path to making friends...annnnnd I discovered that OMW...I'm like really good at this social making friends thing too...and yeah its cool...AND FUN and I don't feel like i'm lackin friendships...AT ALL!!! :) I have plenty of friends now and A LOT that are waaaaaaaay younger than me and I don't mind a bit...I can honestly relate to them better than I can to my married friends...
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Not that I don't LOVE my married friends...its Just cuz we're in different places in life!!! Like we can be in the same room and I'm like jumpin up and down about my newest hair accessory and some cute guy and they're just lookin at me like...DO NOT WAKE UP THIS BABY!!! AHAHAHA!!! Buuuut you know what, I can't help it, thats just where I currently, STILL AM in life!!! I wish I KNEW what it was like, to have a baby, that I didn't want people to wake up, buuuut I don't!!! Sooooo don't HATE when you hear me SCREECHIN...HAHA!!! ;)
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Soooo number one thing to remember this week... REMEMBER WHAT YOU WANT in a spouse...its OK for your friends to get married, WITHOUT YOU...just make NEW FRIENDS... ANNNNND....
DO NOT GET DESPERATE!!!
To be continued tomorrow...comments appreciated...
♥Mary Frances :)