Monday, July 27, 2015

Am I really WILLING???

As you all know I was recently at the Heritage Youth Conference, and this year I got to spend a little bit more time with the Schreckhise family, missionaries to Honduras and I really, really enjoyed being with them and getting to know them a little bit better. I just really like them. They're just real people, simple living, loving and serving God together as a family. These kids have grown up without the luxuries us Americans have and they think NOTHING of it!!! We're all sitting in the youth lock in at Heritage and we are ALL complaining about how HOT and STUFFY it is in there, and there are the Shreckhise kids, they're not even breaking a sweat! They think NOTHING of what we're all complaining about!!! I'm like, you guys aren't even hot are you? They're like, NOPE we're used to this!!!
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And I felt such admiration for them. Here they are, living in a 3rd world country, they're separated from all their American friends, they live in a continuously hot country, in a home that has no AC, they think nothing of seeing big, huge, creepily scary bugs in their home and you could say, Oh well those kids are used to it because they've grown up that way and they're dad's parents were missionaries and he grew up that way, buuuut what about Sis. Shreckhise??? I don't know her whole story, but I KNOW that her going over there had to be a lifestyle change. There was some adjustments to make, some things she had to give up and come on lets face it, just about EVERY FEMALE IN THE U.S is petrified of bugs and spiders... but she did it...she made the sacrifice!!! 
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I think what a woman!!! What a great woman of God!!! I want to be like that, I really do!!! Yet, then I think about it and I have to ask myself, AM I REALLY WILLING??? One of my close friends and I were recently having a conversation about being willing to sacrifice for the kingdom of God. The next day I was thinking about it more, and the more I thought about it, conviction hit my heart as I thought about it! Do I really have any room to be talking on this matter? We sang the song at Heritage, ♫♪"Lord I'll be what you called me to be, I'll say yes, lord I'll agree, My desire, passionately, is to be what you called me to be, that's what i'll be!"♪♫ I sang it, you sang it.. But do we REALLY mean it??? Are we REALLY willing to be what he called us to be???
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 Or are we really singing it like this, "Lord I'll be what you called me to be," (As long as there's AC) "I'll say yes," (As long as I don't have to eat anything strange) "Lord I'll agree!" (but can I still keep my $1000 louie vouttan?) "I'll say yes," (As long as I don't have to touch anyone with a contagious disease) "My desire," (As long as I'm not far from my friends) "passionately," (and my family too) "is to be what you called me to be," (Just don't make me talk to a dirty, filthy, stinking person) "That's what i'll be" (Anything Lord, as long as you meet my requirments...and don't forget, NO BUGS)  Buuuuuuut ♪"Lord I'll be what you want me to be!" ♪♫
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I remember reading in a biography one time about a Pentecostal man from a war-stricken, poverty-stricken country in Africa. He was an African man and some how he was given the opportunity to come to the US and attend Bible college. While in the process of being here in the US, he felt the call of God on his life and began to go into the ministry,  He had the opportunity to stay and continue living here. Life was so much easier for him living in the US, YET, he chose to go back to his country and bring the gospel message to his people!!! I was just SO touched and stirred in my heart when I read that. I know A LOT of people that have migrated over from 3rd world countries, AND I NEVER hear them saying, I want to go back! Perhaps for a visit, but NOT to live! And I can fully understand WHY they would not want to go back to living the way they used to have to live. Yet, this man had the opportunity to stay, BUT he chose to sacrifice life as an American, because of a burden for his people. That has always stood out so strongly in my mind...and I have to ask myself again...AM I REALLY WILLING???
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The other thing that stood out to me as I read the story about this man is how he chose who he would marry. He had several opportunities to marry American woman, but he felt in his heart that he needed to marry a woman from his own country, because he felt there was no American woman that would be able to endure the hardships they would have to encounter in his country. I just think, WOW! Are us American females really THAT SPOILED??? I want to think in my mind, OH I would have married you!!! AND THEN I read about the hardships and things they had to endure and once again I have to ask myself, AM I REALLY WILLING???
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I remember being at a woman's conference one time, a missionaries wife spoke. She was a simple woman, dressed neatly but in very plain clothing. Her hair was put up nicely but nothing fancy by most Pentecostal woman, she was probably looked upon as some what homely. But when, she began to speak, I was filled with such admiration for her, as she told miraculous story after story after story of souls being saved and what she was WILLING to do, that they might be saved. I can't explain the burden and passion for souls I felt as I went to the alter that day. I cried and cried and literally was sobbing to the point that I think people may have actually thought something was wrong with me. But I couldn't help it, I felt such a burden for lost souls and such a desire to be like this woman of God.
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I just couldn't get over the sacrifices this woman was willing to make for the kingdom of God.  Then after wards there was set up shopping for the woman, and I don't mean  this to knock anyone, but as I went out of the church towards the clothes, the thought went through my mind, "BUT in case you didn't get the message, there IS $150.00, MODEST, dresses you can buy!!!" And really you guys, I'm NOT saying that to look down anyone, I WAS one of the woman looking at the dresses...I'm jus sayin, that's literally the thought that went to my mind! In the moment we can be filled with such passion and desire, but how quickly do we go back to just being another typical, spoiled, Apostolic American!?
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And before I get MAD EMAILS about it, let me clarify that I am NOT knocking having NICE THINGS! Pretty dresses, cute outfits, adorable shoes, but there comes a point where we have ENOUGH and we not to stop thinking and dwelling on it! I mean, I was just thinking the other day, I literally NEED NOTHING!!! I have plenty of church clothes, plenty of casual clothes, MORE THAN ENOUGH hair accessories, I need to just chill out and start focusing on MORE IMPORTANT THINGS!!!
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There's a world that's lost and going to hell and all we can think about is what cute MODEST outfits we can have for the next conference!!! We justify our outrageous shopping by, "well its modest and I just want to look Apostolic!" And trust me, I'm PREACHING to myself on this!!! I openly admit that I spent WAY TO MUCH MONEY on new clothes for this past conference. AND FOR WHAT??? What I felt in that conference had NOTHING to do with my clothes or shoes!!! I say I'll do whatever you want me to do, BUUUUT...AM I REALLY WILLING??? Or am I just another spoiled American ???
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 What things will we have to give up in our lives to see souls saved? It may be our social life, taking someone home after church instead of going out! It may be our TIME! It may be our MONEY! It may be giving up some of our fun! It may be relationships! It may be a job! It may be conferences! It may be that we just have to GROW UP sooner than our peers! Am I willing to put aside childish things, for the sake of the kingdom of God? We say we'll sacrifice anything for the kingdom of God, but are we REALLY WILLING??? Its good to have a burden and a passion, but At some point we've got to take some action, we have to go from JUST SAYING IT, to actually DOING IT!!!
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There is a song the Abbott's wrote that I absolutely love this song, some of it says, ♪ Lord, Let me be willing, to go where you would go, Let me be willing, to lift somebody's load, I want to be a servant for thee!" ♪♪♫ At the end of my life, I don't want God to have to call me, an Unprofitable servant! I want to be a profitable servant for the kingdom of God!!!
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BUUUUT, I ask myself again, AM I REALLY WILLING??? My prayer is, Lord, MAKE ME WILLING!!! Let me be willing, just let me be willing, just let me be willing! Help me God to give up the things I need to give up, give me the strength to make the sacrifices I need to make to see lost souls save! Lord, MAKE ME WILLING!!! Weather its across seas in a third world country, or right here in my own state, my own city, across the street, right next door, in the prisons, across town to the low income apartments, the shelters, to the rich people in Scottsdale, or in another state here in the US,  God, Help me to make the changes I need to make in my life, Help me to have the heart of a servant,  LORD JUST MAKE ME WILLING!!!
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♥Mary Frances :)