Finacial WiseDUBMB #5

Annnnnnnnnnd its back you guys, Financial Wisedumb with Mary!!! You can read the Last Financial WiseDUMB HERE!!! Buuuuuuuuut TODAY, How would you all like to know, How to get a free coffee, lunch, back massage, neck massage, foot massage and Thanksgiving dinner?????

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If you knew that you could get ALL of these things for FREE, would you??? Weeeeeeeelllll today I DID!!! Annnnnnnd I would like to share with you all HOW you can too!!!

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First of all, Whole Foods had a Thanksgiving dinner taste testing today...12-2!!! It was pretty good... I mean, for FREE...buuuuut I heard people standing around talking about HOW GOOD it was!!! I was like, okaaaaaaaaay its good, buuuuuuuut, this ain't like MY COOKING...I'm jus sayin!!! LOL!!!

Btw: Whole food is a good place for samples...I've eaten many lunches AND breakfasts there!!! Hey its FREE annnnnnd in MODERATION!!! ;)))))

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My other lunch special is COSTCO!!! That's my FAVORITE PLACE for Saturday lunch!!! Hee, hee!!! The only problem with being Apostolic is THEY NOTICE YOU when you go back for seconds!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Okaaaaaay sooooo modesty is KEEPIN me from overindulging on my Costco lunch...YAAAAAAY!!!! AHAHAHA!!!

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Free massages!!! BROOKSTONE AND BED, BATH, AND BEYOND!!! I'm adding this to my "Future Trophy Wife" resume...Keep this in mind future hubby that may happen to be reading this, WHILE OTHER MEN are having to pay for outrageous prices for their wife to be getting massages by little Asian men, I'll be heading to Brookstone or BBB!!! MWAH...Purrrrrrr!!!

(People like me that are keeping the economy going...HEEEEEEYYYY I pay for the gas that it takes to get there!!!)

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Bed, Bath and Beyond now has a World Market section and there are tons of free samples EVERYDAY!!! Oh and lets NOT forget Trader Joe's!!! Free Samples and FREE COFFEE samples EVERY DAY!!!

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FORGET RICE THE RICE AND BEANS DAVE RAMSEY!!!

 between Costco, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Bed Bath and Beyond Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd MY MOM'S HOUSE...

I'm NEVER GROCERY SHOPPING AGAIN!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

Financial WiseDUMB #4

Weeeeeellll its back...
The series that pastors EVERYWHERE have been waiting for, to share with their saints...Yes, that's RIGHT, its the one and only, one-of-a-kind column...

 

 FINANCIAL WISEDUMB with Mary!!!

Its been OVER a year since the last Financial WiseDUMB post, I hope that you all have been financially surviving since then!!! You can refresh your memory with the last one HERE!!!

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 NOW if there are two people that will appreciate this particular Financial Wisdumb post, its MY MOM and MY BROTHER JOHN!!! They are the two people that will think this is GENIOUS!!! Annnnnd would sooooo DO IT!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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Sooooooooo Sunday night a group of us went to Oreganos to eat, and while we're waiting for our food, they give MJ some pizza dough to play with. I grabbed a piece of it and started playing with it and as I'm playing with it, the most brilliant thought popped into my mind! I thought, "Hey! This is REAL pizza dough!!!" THEN an EVEN MORE brilliant thought went through my mind, "HEY! I could use this, TO MAKE PIZZA!"  my own HOMEMADE PIZZA! Which we all know will taste better than Oreganos anyway!!! Hee, hee! ;)

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Soooooooooo I decided to tell everyone at the table my brilliant idea! I'm like, hey you guys, THIS IS REAL PIZZA DOUGH that they give the kids!!! I'm like, YOU GUYS!!! We should ALL ask for pizza dough to play with, then we can all take it  home and make our own pizzas!!! Everyone busted up laughing, ME INCLUDED!!! Buuuuuut, even tho I laughed, I'm SOOOO FOR REALZ!!!

 

 Next time we go i'm going to get me a ball of dough annnnnnd i'm gonna take it home ANNNNND make me a mini pizza the next day!!! (Don't worry peeps, I'll blog about that when I do!!!)

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Buuuuuuuuut really mom's, dad's, Aunts, uncle's, grandparents, nannies, future moms and dads, THINK ABOUT IT!!! This is such a logical idea!!!! You and your hubby splurge one night and take THE WHOLE FAMILY to Oreganos ANNNNNNND everyone gets a ball of dough to play with, annnnnnnnd THEN MOM, you whip out those Ziploc bags and the next day, BAM, the whole family makes mini pizzas together for dinner!!! Not only are you saving your money, your saving TIME annnnnd to top it all off, your making family memories!!!

I know, I know, NOT ONLY was this post a MONEY-SAVING POST, IT WAS ALSO A TIME SAVER, no fear, you only need to thank me ONCE not TWICE!!! Hee, hee!!! Yes, yes, this is the mind of Mary at its absolute brilliance!!! Sometimes, I just can't help buuuuut LOVE the way God made my brain to be!!! Purrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

P.S. IF you do this, I would LOVE to hear about it!!! Please email me with pics and the whole shebang!!! you NEVER KNOW, I just may feature you in my Wisedumb book one day!!! :)))) maryfranceswriting@gmail.com

When a guy dumps you...

Ladies, have you everrrrr wondered WHAT you should do when a guy DUMPS YOU??? Whats the right thing? What should I do? What should I say? How should I act??? Weeeeeeeeeeelllll let me all tell you what I thought as a 15-year-old!!!! We WONDER THESE THINGS!!!

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Soooo at 15, I started writing whe I was 15! The first thing I wrote was a novel for teens!!!! Annnnnnnnnd just the other day I found the very first of my writings on the bookshelf in my room!!! 16 years later, I'm laughing HYSTERICALLY at my writings and WHAT I thought should be done when a guy dumps!!!

 Sooooo in my story this girl Melanie Edwards, the main character gets dumped by her boyfriend at Dairy Queen!!!! Sooooo guess what she does???? When she gets up to leave, she takes her melted Sundae and dumps it over her NOW ex's head!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! And then it says that there was melted ice cream, whip cream and syrup dripping down his face! And smack dab in the middle of his head there is a CHERRY ON TOP!!!!

Bahahahaahahahahahaahahhahahaha!!! I'm like, WOW MARY!!! WOW!!! Buuuuuuuuuut then second thought i'm like,WHY didn't I ACTUALLY do this when I did get dumped by my boyfriend???? Like, HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO MARY!!!!

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Ooooooh well, theres ALWAYS NEXT TIME!!!! AHAHAHA!!! Forget all that NICE GIRLS STUFF, Next guy that dumps me, I'm gonna be like, NOPE!!! Your NOT allowed to do this OVERRR THE PHONE, through email or text, you gonna dump me, your gonna do it TO MY FACE, LIVE annnnnd IN PERSON...

AT DAIRY QUEEN!!!;)

♥Mary Frances :)

Financial WiseDumb!!! :) #1

TODAY is the FIRST post...

 of a BRAND NEW monthly column

Okaaaaaaaay sooooo this FIRST post is especially dedicated to ALL the PARENTS out there!!! How many of you parent's have children, THAT LIKE DISNEYLAND??? EVEN If they are too young now, at some point or another, your children WILL want to go to Disneyland!!!

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Disneyland is EXPENSIVE!!! The average price for ONE TICKET at Disneyland is about $80 bucks!!! NOW EVEN if you have ONLY ONE CHILD, you STILL have to buy TWO MORE tickets for YOU(The Parents) thats racking up to $240 bucks...OH BUUUUUT you know that MOST people have MORE THAN ONE CHILD BAM we're now already up to $320 and if your a child LIKE ME...from a family of FIVE KIDS..

You can plan RIGHT now on just waiting till your old enough to WORK and buy YOUR OWN TICKET to go to Disneyland!!! Howeverrr...this past May, I, MARY FRANCES GINTY, discovered an amaZing, money-saving adventure, that is JUST as fun, if NOT FUNNER, that will save your children from feeling like they are MISSING OUT on the whole DISNEYLAND experience!!!

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You see, a bunch of the married couples in our church decided to take a trip to DISNEYLAND, without THE KIDS!!! Sorta like a marriage retreat or something!!! Sooooo guess who was watching some of the children while their parent's were at Disneyland??? YES...yours truley...MAR BEAR!!! (After all...I am SINGLE...and thats what we singles do! LOL)

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Now, the kids were a little bummed about NOT getting to go to Disneyland...buuuuuut...by the end of the week...weeeeeelll seee THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED...

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I STARTED DRIVING THAT WEEK!!! I was kinda-sorta-pushed to get it down....ya know since I had to drive them to school and stuff!!! Sooooooo they got to experience ME LEARNING TO DRIVE!!!

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I'll never forget their words, "Mary! Riding with you is sooooo much FUN!!!! Everywhere we go its all bumpy and swervy!!!" "Yeah, Mary! Riding with you is like going on a roller coaster!" "I LOVE the way you drive Mary!!!" (Touches my heart)

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See RIGHT THERE parents!!! Have your children ride in MY VAN, annnnnd they will have the satisfaction of a total ROLLER COASTER experiance...WITHOUT THE DISNEY PRICE!!! You don't need to buy NO DISNEYLAND TICKETS!!!

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You may be saying, OH Mary YOUR TO FAR...NOW WHAT??? Parent's, don't get upset...JUST STICK your child in the vehicle of ANY person that is learning to drive and they will get THE SAME UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIANCE!!!

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However, OTHER DRIVERS will just be a temporary roller coaster experiance, I ON THE OTHER HAND, am permanent,  you do NOT have to worry about ME going out of business with roller coaster driving...it will ALWAYS be there for you parent's when you need ME!!! Annnnnnnnnd HEEEEEEy...

IF YOU WANT...

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I'll even throw on some MINNIE EARS!!!

NOW thats the FULL DISNEY AFFECT!!!

MY PRICE???

All I ask is for you to fill my tank with gas!!!

I know, I know...

WHAT AN AWESOME MONEY SAVING DEAL!!!

Plus with my MONEY-SAVING DEAL...you don't even need to worry about THE LONG WAIT IN LINES!!! The cost of a hotel, food, SOUVENIERS...the costs just keep piling on!!! Today IS THE DAY, to start making SMART financial decisions!!!

$60 tank a gas OR $340+

THE CHOICE IS YOURS PEOPLE!!!

More money-saving WISEDUMB next month...DON'S MISS IT!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

You can tell A LOT...

MARY WISEDUMB:

I've always heard that you can tell a lot by the way a woman walks....Buuuuuut...

I HAVE  learned that you can ALSO tell a lot by the way a man walks...

 Like if he walks away...

he's probably not into you.

Just speakin from experience...lots of EXPERIENCE!!! :D

♥Mary Frances :)

LIFE...

When Life rains on your parade,

get out the Slip-n-Slide.

♥Mary Frances :)

Valentine Warning and WISEDUMB!!! ;)

Valentine WARNING!!!

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IF you are buying a girl CHOCOLATES for Valentine's Day
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OR ANY DAY for that matter....
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MAKE SURE YOU DON'T LEAVE THEM IN THE CAR!!!
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BEACAUSE...
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CHOCOLATE DOES MELT!!!!

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ESPECIALLY IN ARIZONA!!!!

EVEN if its ONLY FEBRUARY...

AND GUYS...

most girls won't be as cool [Insert Hysterical laughter here!] about this happening to them, as I was about it happening to ME!!!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

♥

Oh and ONE more piece of Valentine WisedumB...this is for THE WOMAN or actually I guess THE MEN can take it to... If you don't have a Valentines Date this year don't feel BAD!!! You learn over time that SOMETIMES in life...

NO DATE is ACTUALLY an upgrade...

From previous dates!!! :D

AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!
♥Mary Frances :)

NO Seats...Marriage council WiseDUMB!!!

Weeeelll...being the WISE person that I am...I am about to give some MORE Mary WiseDUMB for your marriage...LISTEN UP MEN!!! ;) (The last Marriage Wisdumb was for the ladies...read HERE!!!)Okaaaaaaaaay so I gotta start off by tellin you all this LOVELY fact that I discovered on my recent travels...

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SOOOOO...Idk WHY...but for some reason, NONE of the toilets in the public restrooms have TOILET seats in the Philippines!!! I'm just like DUUUUUDE...

WHAT happened to THE SEATS???

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Now your probabley wondering HOW this is going to bring ANY sort of Marriage council to ANYONE??? Weeeellll...

Why you should ALWAYS do your hair...

Sooooo last week when the electricity line blew up and ALL that jazz happened in our neighborhood...

I gave Kim some incredible, MARY WISEDUMB!!!
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So the fire truck pulls down the street and I'm like, Ooooo KIM come on, lets go check out the FIRE MEN!!!!!! LOL Cuz, DUH, we're single and this is like some total EVANGELISM about to take place!!! ;) ;) ;) I'm like we'll just act like we're out walkin for excercise!!! Kim is like, Ooooo yeah, with your COOKIN APRON STILL ON!!! LOL (Oooops!)

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So we're walkin down the street and Kim is like, WELLLL look at you, with your hair fixed up ALL PERFECT!!! AND this is when the wise words, from YEARS of Ladies of Legacy classes, just flowed out of me for my dear friend!!! I said SEE Kim, THIS IS WHY a lady should ALWAYS do her hair EVERYDAY...

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Because you just NEVERRRR know, when one of your electrical lines are gonna blow-up, start a fire on your block and cause ALLLL kinds of firemen to show up...it doesn't happen often...BUT JUST PREPARE FOR IT!!!!!!!! EVERYDAY, I do my hair...

WAITING for a

A MOMENT LIKE THIS!!!♥♥

♥Mary Frances :)

Mary WiseDUMB!!!!! (Marriage advice;)

Currrrrrently deciding to give FREE marriage counselin to all my married friends!!! :)))) This spectacur piece of advice is ESPECIALLY for THE LADIES!!! How would you ladies like to know of a way for your husband to ALWAYS remember your birthday???? I'm sure you would and I the SINGLE Miss Mary happen to have a SURE way to make him NEVERRR forget!!!!

ARE YOU READY for this ladies???? Okaaaay here we go...JUST...

REMIND HIM!!!!!

 I don't understand all these ladies that get upset because their husbands forget!!! I'M LIKE HELLLLOOOO....just start reminding them like a month in advance!!! And remind him EVERYDAY!!! Write little sticky notes and stick them in TOTALLY random places!!! Put it in his planner!!! Program it in his phone!!! The night before say, "tomorrow is MY BIRTHDAY!!! First thing in the morning say...TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!" And he'll say RIGH AWAY, Oh happy birthday baby!!! (Unless he is a total jerk!!!) and then you say, "BABE, you remembered...OMW thats like sooooooo SWEEET!!!" HAHA!!!! It seems cRaZy but I'm sooooo serious ladies...this is GUARANTEED to work!!!

And don't be ALL like BUT i want him to remember on his OWN...without me reminding him!!! Don't be like that... he is a man...thats just the way he is...its in his DNA!!! Its like in this Stephen Bly book I was readin one time....Everyone was gettin mad at these coyotes for doing coyote things...like eatin chickens and stuff and finally this rancher told the boys...they're coyotes, thats what they do, its in their nature and you can't expect them NOT to act like coyotes when thats what they are!!! Same way with men!!! They may remember at FIRST, but sooner or later its gonna happen and your just gonna be like...OMW... HE REALLY IS A MAN!!! HAHA!!! 

Sooooo when it happens ladies just think to yourself, OMW Like wow!!! MY HUSBAND is soooo MANLY!!!  Trust me though...unless my husband gets alztheimers he will NEVER forget my birthday!!! NEVA!!!!! :) 

Yes ladies...

all that wisedumb was for FREE!!!!!! ;)

P.S. GUESS WHO'S BIRTHDAY IT IS IN 17 DAYS???? ;]