A big bride!!!

Generally speaking, when we hear that a woman is engaged, we NEVERRR say to that bride-to-be, weeeeeeelllll I hope you get BIGGER before your wedding day! You NEVERRRR hear a bride saying, I WONDER just HOW LARGE I can get before I get married. It doesn't matter WHO she is, a woman is ALWAYS working on looking her trimmest and best before her wedding day! YET, I heard someone just the OTHER day say, "We want the bride to get larger!"

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Your probabley thinking, what in the WORLD??? Who would say THAT??? And juuuuuuuuuust WHO'S bride is this??? I'll tell you who's bride this is, Its GOD'S BRIDE!!! This past Sunday our pastor preached about witnessing and reaching the lost. After altar call, one of the men ended the service and he got up and said to the church, "we want the Bride of Christ to get larger!" When he said that I just couldn't help but LAUGH!!! Of course I was THE ONLY one that quite saw the humor in this, BUUUUUUUUT its just soooooooo FUNNY TO ME!!!

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 Jesus is coming back for a BIG BRIDE!!!! And NOT only is she just a BIG BRIDE, He wants his bride to get BIGGERRRRRRR!!!! He wants to her to get LARGERRRRR!!! Dare I even say, He wants her to get FLUFFIER!!!  BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Jesus doesn't want a skinny bride!!! I'm just like WOW... Totally an in AW moment for me!!! Liiiiiiiike Heeeeeey Jesus...i'm RIGHT HERE...MAR BEAR...I'll be your fluffy bride!!! Come and get me I''m READY FOR YOU MY BELOVED GROOM!!! hee, hee

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Oh man, that's what's soooooooo AWESOME about Jesus, he doesn't think like us humans...He thinks like GOD, because HE IS GOD! And if God wants a big bride, Lets see just HOW MUCH BIGGERRRR we can get the Bride-Of-Christ to be for her groom!!! How big can we get her??? Lets challenge ourselves to help His bride get larger!!!

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Annnnnnnd just in case your wondering, that's NOT by eating an extra Big Mac tonight, or buying that donut and Starbucks in the morning, in fact getting the bride BIGGER may have to come through us skipping a few meals in fasting, adding in some extra prayer, excercising by our streets to knock doors and doing whatever it takes to add souls to the church!!! It comes by reaching the lost!!!

Help His bride get bigger,

 INVITE SOMEONE TO CHURCH!!!

"... Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest." (John 4:35)

♥Mary Frances :)

Mary's Random History Lesson

Sit back my lil children, MARY, is about to teach:

THE HISTORY OF MAYONAISE!!!

 

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Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise (Now more commonly known a Best Foods) was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York . This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is, of course, known as...

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Sinko de Mayo

AKA: CINCO DE MAYO!!!

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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm like, literally soooooo FUNNY!!! If NO ONE else laughs, it's ok, BECAUSE I DID!!! Cracks me up EVERAY YEAR!!! Hope Everyone has a good Cinco de Mayo!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

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P.S. BEST TEACHER EVERRRR-we also now know WHY I'm not a teacher...apparently, Adventure's In Odyssey's Imagination Station, isn't considered a "proper" way to be edu-a-MA-kay-a-tid!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! 

Happy Monday!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

Happy Saturday!!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Remember those word problems in school you'd get like, Jenny had 100 gallon jars of mayo and Stephanie used 5 and a half and Robin added 1/4 of a jar, how many gallons does Jenny have left??? And you'd be sitting there like SERIOUSLEY??? and your teacher would be like, ONE DAY, your going to need this!!! And your just sitting there liiiiiike, at least use something like PEANUT BUTTER!!! WHY SO MUCH MAYO???? Or if your gonna say may how about we try to find out how many sandwiches Jenny made with it???

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Well, we are currently living in STORY PROBLEM TIMES!!! Mary could NOT buy any flour or baking soda cuz the dude from the story problem GOT IT ALL, how many loaves of bread is the story problem dude gonna make??? Also, how much weight will the story problem dude gain from all the bread he is eating???

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And all you teachers can just say, YEEEEEEEEEESSSS, I'm finally right!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

A Bible Question!!!!

Sooooooooo I was thinking about this other day, liiiiiike WHILE listening to the Bible, THE MOST RANDOM MARY THOUGHT EVERRRRR went through my mind...

BIBLICALLY SPEAKING:

Did older woman ever

 go for YOUNGER MEN?!?!?!

 NO REALLY YOU GUYS, DID THEY??? I mean think about it, the Bible is rather clear that Boaz and other men were quite a bit older than their wives, buuuuuuut are there any cases where a younger man marries an older woman???

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NOW I've had some debate about this, liiiike, NO that probably NEVERRRR happened because CULTURALLY speaking, woman NEVER "Went for men" back then!!! BUuuuuut after thinking about it, I beg to differ, RUTH...She SOOOO WENT FOR BOAZ!!! Also, she may have STILL been beautiful at 200, I mean, wasn't that king checking out Sarah when she was in her 90's??? 

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ANNNNNNNNNNND FURTHER MORE, if there was, WHAT WAS THE AGE DIFFERENCE??? I mean, THINK ABOUT IT, people were living to be like, 700 years old back in the day!!! Was there EVERRRRR a case of a woman marrying a man 100 years YOUNGER than herself?!?! Duuuuuuuuuude...that would be sooooooooooooo COOOOOOL if there was!!! You know like, she was 200 and he was 100???  THAT WOULD BE SOOOOOO AWESOME!!! 

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Like seriously, I wanna meet that chick when I get to heaven!!!! My mom's probably telling her right now, with her NYC accent, MY DAUGHTER SOOOO NEEDS TO MEET YOU!!! BAHAHAHA!!!

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Soooo for now I sit here and ponder this thought along with the many other important questions that no one seems to have a true answer for me, liiiiiike, WAS JESUS GOOD LOOKING? (I believe he was! I don't think he was of the appearance that drew attention, buuuuuuut I bet he has the most amazing honey brown eyes that I would've just melted when I looked into them, with long manly lashes and the kindest smile! Oh and before you give me Isaiah 53, that's prophesying about calvary...Jus sayin ;) IS IT WEIRD FOR A MAN TO THINK OF HIMSELF AS, "THE BRIDE OF CHRIST???" (I asked Bishop Abbott this once, YES, I ACTUALLY DID ASK, and he said YES!!! bUUUUUT THEN he went on to explain that it's not really us individually buuuuuuut the church of God as a whole!) HOW LONG DID ADAM LIVE BEFORE GOD CREATED EVE??? (It had to be LONG enough for him to realize that he was THE ONLY creature without an helpmeet) When exactly did it become WEIRD to marry a sibling??? (THANK GOD IT DID THO!!!) Were the fish raw or cooked that Jesus fed to the multitude? Why do boiled eggs smell, BUT NOT SCRAMBLED EGGS??? What exactly IS, "THE WHEEL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WHEEL???" Who potty trained Adam??? Annnnd on and On and on my list goes, I'm gonna have A LOT of asking when I get to heaven...A LOT!!! BAHAHAAHAAAA!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

Mess Proof???

Soooooooooo for Christmas, my sister bought me a new kitchen aide, annnnnnnnd it came with thi really nifty plastic cover thingy that wraps around the edge of the mixing bowl of the kitchen aid to prevent messes while baking...

MAKING IT MESS PROOF!!!

Buuuuuuuuuuuut there was question, it was MESS PROOF, buuuuuuuuuut

WAS IT MARY PROOF???

WAS IT MARY PROOF???

What do you all think??? ;)

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Think about it...

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Whatda ya think???

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Could God possibly allowed something to be MARY PROOFED???

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Is there anything to hard for The Lord????

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MIRACLES DO STILL HAPPEN MY FRIENDS!!!

(Click to find out!)

Happy Monday!!!

Pretty accurate...Weeeeeeeeeeelllll...minus the snow here in AZ!!!

This next week we're supposed to be hitting triple digits!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

Happy Sunday!!!!!!

Wherever you are today, it's The Lord's Day, soooooooo give your problems to Him!!!

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 5:3-6)

♥Mary Frances :)

Sooooooooooooo MY MOM!!!

I could NOT stop laughing when I read this...IF YOU KNEW MY MOM...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

This is soooooooo MY MOM!!! The Italian New Yorker that said it like it was!!! Her motto to me growing up: Don't be Fat and Lazy!!! BAHAHAAA!!! I really want wood carving and just to put it next to a picture of my mom! She would've loooooooooooved that saying!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

Weeeeeeeeeeeellllll...Guess who????

We were reading this Proverb on one of our Sunday morning Bible readings, " He that hath knowledge spareth his words..." Annnnnnnd I thought, Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllll...

 Guess we all know from that scripture WHO...

NEVERRRRR got her college degree!!! Hee, hee!!! 

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

More MARY thoughts!!!

Sooooooooo the other day I was having this very random, MARY THOUGHT!!! I was thinking about the fact that everyone always says I have really good self-esteem...BUUUUUUUUUT...I was thinking...

What if I really don't have good self-esteem????

What if I REALLY AM...  

JUST BEAUTIFUL???

 AHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! ;))))

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!!!

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I ACTUALLY asked my brother that VERY QUESTION last week and he was just like, Wow Mary, WOW!!! I gotta keep things stirred up and flowing ya know?!?! Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut THEN I had another VERY RANDOM MARY THOUGHT!!! I was like, OMW, WHAT IF I'M REALLY NOT PRETTY??? WHAT IF I JUST HAVE GOOD SELF-ESTEEM??? 

I pondered this very thought for about 10 seconds,

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 Then I was like, NAWWWWW!!!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!

♥Mary Frances :)
♥Mary Frances :)

Bible Notes!!!

Sooooooo the other day I'm reading my Bible and look to see WHAT I had previously written underneath a highlighted scripture in my Bible...

It's "These are the things which defile a man," (thefts, fornications, false witness, blastphemies, murder, adultery...) "but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man..." THEN I have written under that, "We do NOT need to wash our hands!"

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YES, for realz my friends...I REALLY WROTE THAT IN MY BIBLE!!! BAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! I wish I could say that I've had this Bible since I was a child, buuuuuuuuuuuuut, i'm pretty sure I've had it since I was at least 18 maybe even in my 20's...AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Buuuuuuuuuuut heeeeeeeeyyyy just to spiritualize my notes, WHEN YOUR DOING THE LORD'S WORK...you JUST NEVER KNOW when your going to have to eat something WITHOUT WASHING YOUR HANDS...Soooo there you have it...IT'S OK...JUST EAT AND DO THE WORK OF THE LORD!!! LOLOLOL!!!

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♥Mary Frances :)

P.S. I hope NONE of my nursing degree friends read this post...hee, hee!!! ;)

p.p.s In light of everything going on...WASH YOUR HANDS!!! BAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! 

Happy Monday!!!

WHY DID SO MANY ITALIANS GET THE CORONA VIRUS???

That's WHY soooooo many Italians got the Corona Virus,

we all ATE OUR MASKS!!!

 AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

Inside MARY'S head!!!

I would like you all to see exactly how my mind processes things!!! A while ago my pastor was talking about when Aaron's rod sprouted and grew almonds on it...

I was like OH WOW, that's superrrrr cool...
then I was like, Hmmmm...
I wonder if anyone ate the almonds????
 I mean I WOULD!!! And if they did, WHAT DID THE ALMONDS TASTED LIKE???? They were probably liiiiiiike THE BEST ALMONDS EVERRRR...
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ooooh...ALMOND BUTTTTER....

HEEEEEEYYYY HAVE YOU GUYS EVER HAD Cerreta's Cinnamon Almond butter??

Put that on Trader Joe's Cinnamon Apple swirl bread and it's SOOOOOO THEBOMB.COM!!!

Jus sayin!!! 

That is the process of what goes on in my mind with just ONE SCRIPTURE READING...it can get very complicated...BUUUUUT FUN... at times...BEING ME!!! hee, hee!!! 
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♥Mary Frances :)

P.S. AMEN PASTOR...PREEEEEEEEEEEEACH!!! 

♥Mary Frances :)

Are you rich???

 AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAA!!!

Too HILARIOUS!!! 

I GOT THE GOLD!!!!

I'M RICH!!!!

Are you???

♥Mary Frances :)

The Corona Pick Up Line!!!

 Soooooooooooo, I've been hearing that THE HEAT is supposed to kill the Corona Virus...IF that's the case, BRING ON THE AZ 120 weather!!! Then I was liiiiiiike, HEEEEEEYYY, that'd make THE AWESOMEST PICK UP LINE!!!

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Goes like this:

Did you hear that heat kills THE CORONA VIRUS???

If that's the case...

We're SAFE!!!!👊

HEEEEEEEEEEYYYY!!! 👐

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♥Mary Frances :)

P.S. This was SPECIAL for you Jenny, hope you can fall asleep better tonight!!! Hee, hee!!! Don't forget to use this pick up line on the Hubz-He'll be soooooo flattered!!! ;))))Gotta help all you old married folks add some spice to your marriage!!!BAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

A Quarantined Hike!!!

Soooooooooo i'm pretty much cool with everything being shutdown, except for church ANNNNND the mountains!!! If they stop me from hiking i'm going to be REALLY DEVESTATED!!! 

The AllTrails App made me agree to this statement, I was like, YEEEEEEESSS whatever it takes, just take me to the trails!!! 

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Soooooooooo I've been trying to wake up early enough to make it to the top of the mountain in time to see the sun rising, but so far I havn't been successful, I think I need to get up at 4:20 tomorrow-yeah, i'm crazy buuuuut I got to bed super early, like between 8 and 9:30 usually,

 anywayz, when I got to the top yesterday, there's like one more little hill that everyone runs up, there's no pretty view once you get to that hill, but there's a fence with a sign on it with a hand and your supposed to high-five it- then you've officially completed your workout hike!!! 

Soooooooo when I got to the top I see that the high-five hand has been crossed out, cuz of COVED19, I don't know why, buuuuut it really cracked me up!!! I was like, what if we just lysoled it??? 

Soooooooo I just 

Air-high-fived it!!! :D

I mean,  you gotta do what you gotta do to COMPLETE the hike ANNNNNND stay healthy!!

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Oh and WAAAAAIIIIITTTT...

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There's also a paw print lower for the dogs that hike to high-five, and theirs was crossed out too! That really busted me up!!! Ain't no dog gonna get sick...let's not mention that fact that their paws have been touching the ground the WHOLE hike!!!

Can dogs even get it??? 

Oh wait, it all started with a bat...soooooooo apparently so!!! 

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Oh and then they have this sign up with like COVED19 hiking guidelines, and the one that just cracked me up was, Make sure you wash your hands continuously with soap and water...

I'm like, YEEEEEEEEESSSS, because I don't know how many times I've gone up a mountain, seen a sink on the side and said, NOPE, not gonna wash my hands!!! AHAHAHAHAAHAAA!!! 

♥Mary Frances :)

Got Beaches???

Sooooooooo when we went to Seattle, we ended up spending a lot of time in Tacoma with friends from the Tacoma church. So the last day we had made plans to go hiking at Owen's beach park, which to me is literally amaaaaaaaaaaazing that you can go HIKING AT THE BEACH. Liiiiiiiike talk about combining the best of both worlds!!! 

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So we get out of our cars and are walking to the beach together and I'm just like, wow, I can't believe you just have this whole beach park right up the street that you can just go to anytime!!!

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As i'm exclaiming how awesome it is, my lovely friend Charelle, from The Inspired Prairie blog says,

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"What, you guys don't have beaches in Arizona?!"

I just busted up laughing!!! I'm liiiiiiike, Charelle, It's  ARIZONA!!! She's just like looking at me like, SO???? I'm like, ARIZONA IS A DESERT!!! Deserts do NOT have beaches...we have CACTUS AND DIRT!!! I'm rubbing off on you, your having a Mary Moment right now!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

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Then her son informs her of the geography of Arizona and there's no coast line! And Charelle is like, wow, I didn't even know that and he's homeschooled, I'M HIS TEACHER!!!! LOLOL The whole thing was soooooo funny!!! It was literally one of my highlights of the trip!!! It was truly HILARIOUS!!! Good times, good times!!!

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Memories with friends before we were quarantined!!! 

More on the Seattle trip coming soon!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

P.S. I hope you do come check out our amaaaaazing dirt beaches this summer!!! We may not have waves, buuuuuuuuuuut, you can fry and egg on the sidewalk or bake cookies in your car when it's hot enough-Tacoma GIRRRRRRRL, your gonna fry!!!

Happy Monday!!!!

This is soooooooooooooooo TRUE!!! Soooooo the other day I'm in the middle of making a triple recipe of banana bread and everything is in the Kitchen Aide all perfectly mixed up and I have one more ingredient to add, BAKING SODA!!! I go to my little spice cabinet to get it out and realize I'm all out! So i'm in my apron but I just get into the car and drive to the grocery store around the corner.

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I go to the baking aisle, assuming this will a quick and speedy trip and am completely taken by surprise when I see that the whole baking soda section is COMPLETELY CLEARED OUT!!! I was floored!!! WHY IN THE WORLD ARE PEOPLE HOARDING BAKING SODA??? (Apparently there's 100 reasons to hoard it on Google!!! LOL) Three stores later, I realized I wasn't going to be buying any in the stores!!! yet I had a triple recipe of banana bread sitting at home!!! 

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Soooooo I sent out a mass text asking everyone if they had any baking soda I could use for my banana bread and in exchange I would give them a roll of TP!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Who'd ever thought we'd be paying with toilet paper...man the TPing days of my you...we had NO IDEA we were just throwing around GOLD!!! 

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Happy Monday! I pray you all are doing well-I hope to bring some smiles to you all this week! Sorry I was slacking last week, I thought I was going to be SOOOOOOOOOOO bored with this whole quarantine thing buuuuuuuuut I ended up being soooooooooooo BUSY!!! Have a good week and stay close to JESUS!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

Happy Sunday!!!

I am sooooooooooo thankful this Sunday that we were still able to have church!!! Things are changed up and different, BUUUUUUUUUT the presence of God is STILL THE SAME!!!

 I never realized just how blessed we were to have religious freedom! We always say we are thankful for it, and we are, but we still take it for granted because we've never experienced any kind of a hindrance on it... until now! However your having church, and through whatever means, BE THANKFUL for what  you have and forsake not the assembling of ourselves together!!!! Happy Sunday!!!! 

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"I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the Lord." (Psalm 122:1)

♥Mary Frances :)

Happy Saturday!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! 

♥Mary Frances :)

Random dislike/love!!!

Have you ever just had a totally random dislike that just makes NO SENSE???

I HAVE TWO!!!

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1.Burgundy on men!!! Idk WHY I don't like it on men and it's not even because I think its effeminate, I just hate burgundy on men... BUUUUUUUT I looooove it on ME!!! I know, I'm soooo WIERD!!!

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2. CURLY HAIRED-MEN(WHEN I WAS A KID!) When I was a kid, I did NOT like to look at men with curly hair...I have NOOOOOOOOO idea WHY!!! But whenever Bishop Abbott would announce certain preachers that were coming, If they had curly hair I knew I was going to be soooooo disappointed!!! I would even try and fall asleep under the chair so I wouldn't have to look at them when they preached!!! I have NO CLUE WHY!!! YET, I myself have ALWAYS WANTED CURLY HAIR!!! Once again, I know...I"M WEIRD!!! Hee, hee!!!

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What are your random dislikes???? Maryfranceswriting@gmail.com

♥Mary Frances :)

P.S. I'm TOTALLY cool with men that have curly hair now...LOVE IT!!! I don't want any men straightening their hair before they see me!!! BAHAHAAA!!! Really, curly hair IS AWESOME!!!! buuuuuuuuuuut NOT soooooooo much the burgundy...you can't help it if God gave you curly hair, BUUUUUT YOU CAN CHOOSE NOT TO WEAR BURGUNDY!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Adventures of THE ITALIAN GIRL HOODY!!!

Soooooooo on the way to Seattle last week, im wearing my Italian girl hoody at the airport last night, and cant figure out WHY everyone is giving me odd looks!!! Then I remembered, The Corona Virus is highest IN ITALY!!!

Ahahahahahaaa

#StillProudToBeItalian
#ItalianLivesMatter

 ♥Mary Frances :)

The rest of the world...AND ME!!!

Soooooooo have you ever heard the argument:

 DID ADAM HAVE A BELLY BUTTON???? 

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Some people say he did, some people say he didn't cuz he wasn't born, Ive heard people argue this out foreverrrr…. 

ANNNNNND THERE'S ME...

While the rest of the world is wondering if he had a belly button, 

I'm wondering WHO POTTY TRAINED HIM???? 

Think about it you guys!!! Did God potty train Adam and then he potty trained Eve??? Or maybe he wasn't even potty trained until God made Eve!!!! Maybe that was part of her job as his help meet, First thing you gotta help your husband with is getting him potty trained!!! Yes, I really wonder this!!!! Annnnnnnd before you say I'm crazy, YOU KNOW YOUR WONDERING NOW TOO!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

Think about it!!!

"And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." (Deuteronomy 6:5)

♥Mary Frances :)

Happy Monday!!!

Be smart and LOVE PEOPLE!!!!
♥Mary Frances :)

Californians VS Texans!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

Buuuuuuuuuut...

♥Mary Frances :)

Seattle Bound!!!

Tonight we leave for Seattle...

annnnnnnnnd NOOOOO...

I'm NOT scared about Corona Virus!!!! 

I've done homeless ministry in south Phoenix...

annnnnnd after THAT...

I don't think i'll ever be scared of anything again...EVERRRR!!!

 AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!

♥Mary Frances :)

P.S. Buuuuut we are bringing Lysol and hand sanitizer!!! ;)